


Espresso Yourself

by ShippingAllShips



Series: Tomarry/Harrymort [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Harry, Customer Tom, M/M, based on that one tumblr post, tom is neither fae nor ancient god but his actions say otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:30:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13465020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingAllShips/pseuds/ShippingAllShips
Summary: Thirty. Thirty shots of espresso. Thiscreaturewas going to drinkthirty fucking shots of espresso.Harry’s shaking increased as he tapped on the coffee icon, moving to tap rapidly on the espresso, watching as the total climbed higher and higher. He was too shaken to add the muffin to the total, fearing the god’s wrath if the price was not to his liking.





	Espresso Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it took this long for me to make a coffee shop AU. That's like one of the first AU's everyone makes.

The first time The Fae had ever walked into Harry’s coffee shop, he had left everyone within shaken and trembling at his casual display of raw power. 

Harry could remember the day perfectly. It was around nine in the morning, the shop was empty save for himself and the barista. That was when  _ he _ arrived. Appearing from the fog that had blanketed the city that morning, the only sounds made were the tinkling of the bell above the door, signaling that the door had been opened. He wore a suit and tie, a lanyard dangling from his neck turned backwards as to hide his name, but they knew, unconsciously, that  _ this was no ordinary man. _

He had approached the counter and paused before Harry, surveying the cups displayed before him. He pointed to the largest one -24 ounces- after a moment, and asked, “How much to fill this up with espresso?”

“W-what?” Harry asked, almost positive he had heard the being wrong.

He tapped the cup. “This cup. How much to fill it with espresso?”

Harry stared. “I don’t think-I mean, I don’t really have a way to ring that up? I would have to just keep adding espresso to a regular coffee and that would get pretty pricey….”

“That’s fine. Price means nothing to me.” The eldritch being before Harry responded, his eyes studying the pastries on display. “Add some whipped cream too, please. And one of these little muffins here.”

“It would get pretty bitter if you let it cool…”

“I don’t intend to let it cool.”

Harry was dumbfounded for a moment, but complied, his hands shaking as he reached for their largest cup - _ twenty-four ounces, jesus christ, was this man even human _ \- and silently scribbled the order on the cup, passing it to the barista.

Ginny, the barista, took one look at the order on the cup, then did a double take. “Uh, Harry? Am I reading this right.”

“Just keep count of how many it take.” Harry said, trying to control the trembling in his limbs as he opened the glass case to pull the muffin out. Blueberry, how utterly plebeian for the apparent  _ god _ before him.

“I don’t want to be responsible for  _ killing someone. _ ” Ginny hissed, glaring at Harry as though it was his fault the customer ordered such a drink. “Christ, that’s enough caffeine to _kill_ -”

“Do it.” 

Harry had never seen Ginny move faster in her life, quickly setting the cup beneath the machine and rapidly pressing the espresso button. Harry did not blame her, the man’s tone had left no room for argument. 

Harry simply sat the muffin on the counter, a small napkin below it, hoping not to offend the being before him by setting it on the counter and not handing it to him personally. He felt it would be almost disrespectful to touch such an unholy creature. 

It was a few moments before Ginny could complete her task, passing Harry back to cup with a small and terrified whisper of, “Thirty.”

Thirty. Thirty shots of espresso. This  _ creature _ was going to drink  _ thirty fucking shots of espresso. _ Harry’s shaking increased as he tapped on the coffee icon, moving to tap rapidly on the espresso, watching as the total climbed higher and higher. He was too shaken to add the muffin to the total, fearing the god’s wrath if the price was not to his liking.

“T-that-” Harry cleared his throat. “That will be twenty-four fifty-seven, sir.”

The man nodded, seemingly unfazed by the price of his drink, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a handful of golden dollars. Harry nearly wet himself. The man handed him gold coins.  _ Fucking. Gold. Coins.  _ Harry was very careful not to let their fingers touch when the man handed him his money, fearing that it might create an accidental contract between them.

_ This is not a human _ , Harry thought hysterically, handing the man his change and watching as he dumped it into the tip jar, along with another handful of gold coins. His hysterics soon turned to horror as he watched the man remove the lid from his drink, lick the whip from the top, and  _ down the whole thing right in front of him _ . 

“Perfect. Thank you.” The demon before him said, licking his lips to catch any stray espresso -Harry would not have been surprised if it was forked- and tossed the cup in the direction of the trash can. Harry heard Ginny’s gasp of terror when it landed perfectly in the can. 

The being gave Harry one final smile, deposited another gold coin into the jar, and exited the shop, unwrapping his muffin as he did so.

“Was that the fucking devil himself?” Ginny whispered in horror, watching the man retreat back into the mist from whence he came. Much to their shared horror, the mist seemed to even be  _ evaporating _ a bit at his departure, as though some of it was returning with him.

“I think we just met a real life fairy.” Harry whispered back, hugging Ginny close to him in comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> Price of a large black coffee is $3, add the 30 shots of espresso at $0.75 a shot, and you get $25.50. Add in a tax of .07 cents per dollar, and you get Tom's total, which is not unfair if any of you were going to argue that that seems a bit high.


End file.
